Yes No Maybe

A frustrated friend once said to me, “When a prospect or client tells me ‘No,’ I take it personally. And it becomes really tough for me to recover and bounce back quickly. What do I do?”

It’s a great question. And I applaud my friend for having the courage to ask it. Because I know a lot of folks are confronting the same dilemma, yet they might be unwilling to admit it.

After working with lots of businesspeople, (and listening to their feelings, emotions and explanations), I’ve discovered too many folks suffer from…

PTNS – Post Traumatic No Syndrome! It attacks in four stages.

Stage 1: What you say to the decision-maker.

“No problem.”

“I understand.”

“Keep us in mind for the future.”

Stage 2: What you say to yourself.

“Why me?”

“What’s wrong with me? How’d I screw-up?”

“Why don’t they love me?”

Stage 3: How you really feel.

“I’m angry!”

“I’m hurt. Disappointed. Bummed out!”

“I’m frustrated!”

Stage 4: What you really think.

“Those idiots!”

“What a bunch of jerks!”

“I’m glad they said ‘No!’…didn’t want to work with them anyway!”

So how do you combat PTNS? Here’s how.

Success step 1.


Sulk. Pout. Whine. Complain. Scream. Yell. Stomp. Pound.

After this thirty-second catharsis, move on to…

Success step 2.


What went right?

What went wrong?

What could you have done different?

Turn despair into desire. Loss into learning. The “No” into knowledge.

Success step 3.


How you positioned or inquired about future opportunities?

How you earned the right to still ask for referrals and how many you received?

Success step 4:

Tell yourself:

This is a learning experience.

It’s unfortunate they won’t benefit from my expertise and talent.

This “No” gets me closer to a “Yes” with another decision-maker.

I’m now prepared to G.O.I.M.O. (Get Over It and Move On)

To best move on and be well-prepared for you next opportunity, realize most objections or obstacles are ones of:

  • Delay: “I’d like to think it over.”
  • Denial: “Nobody would use it.”
  • Distrust: “You don’t offer anything different or unique.”

Before you decide how you’ll combat an objection, determine how you’ll first combat yourself.


For example, if you’re repeatedly getting pre-mature price objections, discover why. Perhaps you’re too quick to give an information and feature-dump before effectively probing. Or you mistakenly keep stressing you’re less than your competitors, which draws attention to price, not value.

Here, an objection is likely to be the “result” of your wrong behavior. Sorry, but it’s likely you’re the “reason” for the objection, not your buyer.

Therefore, let’s focus on the right behavior, when an objection pops up.

You can always try to combat objections or obstacles with facts, logic, data, surveys and stats. These help. They’re a great place to start. However, you better also appeal to the decision-maker’s “perceived reality.” Meaning, what their gut tells them is the perceived issue or concern.

And you accomplish this, with “persuasive emotion.”

Aristotle once said:

“One who attempts to move people to thought or action must concern himself with their emotions. If he touches only their minds, he is unlikely to move them to action or to change of mind…the motivations of which lie deep in the realm of the passions.”

Hey, I’ll never downplay the significance of facts and logic. They’re invaluable. Yet they don’t always lead to a sale. With “persuasive emotion” you creatively focus on the buyer’s inner feelings, concerns, needs and motivators.

When you do this, you capture and tap into what movie character Austin Powers calls, “Mo Jo.”

Mo Jo is a special blend of power, energy, force and momentum. It does more than merely adeptly deflect an objection or obstacle. It also conveys with clarity and conviction, your unequivocal desire to help your decision maker make the right choice and do the right thing.

  • It’s about the pursuit of your customer’s goals, before the pursuit of your profit.
  • It’s about gaining the customer’s commitment, not just their cash.
  • It’s about long-term results, not short-term conquests.

You must create an environment with your responses, so your decision-makers know they can rely upon and trust you.

The mind of the buyer can be a complex combination of fear, concern and hesitation. Your job is to bust through this complexity, with articulate, risk-reducing replies. You provide the types of answers that demonstrate both good business sense and intuitive emotional understanding.

Then, you turn obstacles into opportunities.


Jeff is a Hall of Fame speaker, best selling author, success coach, broadcaster and lawyer. His clients call him a “business-growth specialist.” If you hire speakers, please contact Sheryl Kantor at: 847.998.0688 or [email protected]. And visit to learn more about his other business-growth tools and to subscribe to Jeff’s FREE e-letter, The Results Report. Jeff’s Amazon bestselling books include; Stop Whining! Start Selling!, the 5th edition of Peak Your Profits and the recently published, (December, 2022), BULLSEYE! Hitting Your Targets at Home and at Work, which became a best seller within four days of its release. You can also stay connected with Jeff via Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter: @BlackmanResults

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